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Four years in, we got our miracle

TW - Pregnancy loss

As soon as we got married, my husband and I were ready to start a family. At first we would excitedly talk about plans for the future, but as the months passed by we grew less and less excited, and more and more frustrated. We did what we were supposed to; we saw our doctor, we did the bloodwork, we scheduled sex, we tried medicated cycles, but nothing worked. And eventually we were referred to a fertility clinic. I remember our first meeting with the clinic thinking 'this was the solution' and they would 'fix' our problem. But it's hard to fix something when the doctors don't have an explanation. After three failed IUIs we moved on to IVF, and I actually felt a bit of releif. It felt like there was nothing else we could do and it was all in the doctor's hands.

The clinic said our results were great, and two weeks later, for the first time in our lives, we saw that second line!!!!! We were overjoyed and immediately started making plans for the future and this little person we had been waiting so long to meet. Two months later, it was all taken away. Physically, I healed quickly, but mentally, that was a different story. I was so angry. Why was it so hard for us and so easy for everyone else? Months later we transferred again, saw those beautiful two lines again, and felt heartbreak again. When we saw those two lines after our third transfer we were much more guarded. We knew what could go wrong. As the weeks grew into months we started feeling like it could actually happen, but infertility had stolen so much of the joy of pregnancy. And then, four years after we got married, we finally got to meet our little miracle.

Erin A

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